But, Because, So: Simple Brilliance

They might be closed but their awesomeness is in tact.

In November 2021, I wrote a post for my blog titled “Write with Purpose Using Indexing.” I had gone down a rabbit hole while doing research for a coaching client. In summary, “Write with Purpose Using Indexing” defines 13 different purposes a paragraph can serve. Yes, 13. For now, if you aren’t ready to dig that deeply into your paragraph-by-paragraph writing, let me present something a little simpler but still worthwhile that will improve your writing sentence by sentence.  

Simple Yet Brilliant: But, Because, So

If 13 paragraph purposes overwhelm you, let’s look at how to write with greater depth and clarity using these three little words—but, because, and so. Consider these three sentences, which all start with the same independent clause:

1.     If you want to buy a house, consider buying an older home but recognize that major repairs might be right around the corner.

2.     If you want to buy a house, consider buying an older home because builders used older-growth wood than was stronger and more resistant to sagging and delamination.

3.     If you want to buy a house, consider buying an older home so you will benefit from moving into an established, landscaped neighborhood.

The independent clause is “If you want to buy a house, consider buying an older home.” In case your grammar is rusty, an independent clause is a group of words that contains a subject and a verb and can stand alone as a complete sentence. So, you could make the statement, “If you want to buy a house, consider buying an older home” and be done. Should you want to offer a contrast, a reason, or a consequence, tacking on another clause that begins with but, because, or so gives you that opportunity. Like this:

1.     If you want to buy a house, consider buying an older home but recognize that major repairs might be right around the corner. (But offers a contrast or change in direction in thought.)

2.     If you want to buy a house, consider buying an older home because builders used older-growth wood than was stronger and more resistant to sagging and delamination. (Because offers a cause or reason for why the statement is true.)

3.     If you want to buy a house, consider buying an older home so you will benefit from moving into an established, landscaped neighborhood. (So offers a cause and effect, consequence, or result.)

The use of but, because, so sentence construction is a simple way to validate the points made in your writing. It’s a type of writing analysis that is encouraged in the early grades, high school, and even English Comp college classes. At the higher levels of education, the thoughts and statements become more nuanced and complex, requiring qualifying, evaluating, and synthesizing multiple statements over several paragraphs. But the basic structure is the same.

Final Thoughts

“But, Because, So” is clever.

• “But, Because, So” is clever but it must be used selectively for greatest impact.

• “But, Because, So” is clever because it forces the writer to validate their statements.

• “But, Because, So” is clever so writers should use this construction as a springboard to creating more in-depth, paragraph-level prose.

What do you think?

Let me know but don’t be cruel.

Let me know because I love to hear from you.

Let me know so I can improve my blog content.

Just Write: Good Advice for Memoirists?

Just write, but have a purpose.

Just write.

Don’t think, just write.

Just write and see where it takes you.

First-time writers (and would-be published authors) often ask for advice on social media as they wrestle with creating their first-draft manuscripts. Just write is the #1 comment I see. I always chime in that to write a long-form piece (such as a memoir), you really need to have a sound purpose in mind when you begin. A direction. A compass heading.

I’m always in the minority.

I decided I needed to re-evaluate my position. Maybe I’m being too rigid, too narrow in my advice. So I pondered. . . .

Where to Begin?

As I am a writing coach and as I specialize in memoir, I have had to give a lot of thought to how to help newbie writers get started with their memoir, or improve existing work. I have read innumerable first-draft manuscripts (and one or two first-draft chapters). They are often the product of the just write school of manuscript development. A few show immediate promise; this writer understands where they ultimately want to take this book. But most, sadly, suffer from what I refer to as being all over the place. When you just write, it shows in how your narrative jumps from one subject to another, one time period to another, one argument to another.

Let me be clear—I do not enjoy dashing a writer’s dreams. Seriously. It takes a ton of tact and empathy for me to objectively critique a piece of writing that someone has poured their heart and soul into for months or years, but it just doesn’t fly. My defense is putting on my coaching hardhat and remaining objective and professional to offer my guidance as to how this draft can become a successful published book.

Where are You Going?

I feel like a vinyl record with the needle stuck in a groove. I have offered the same advice in every article I’ve written about memoir. So, I apologize. But if this is the first one of my blog articles you have read, I will repeat the two questions I ask of everyone I work with:

1. What is the personal transformation story you want to share in this memoir?

2. Who is your audience for this story; who are you writing this for?

In my article Memoir is a Journey Story, I discuss this in detail. So, there’s no point in repeating myself. Is there?

Oh, heck! Let me ask you—why are you writing this memoir? If it is for yourself, to get clarity or catharsis about some particular aspect or experience in your life, that’s okay. But that’s not a memoir. (See my article Is it Time to Write Your Memoir? for more about the transition from journaling to writing memoir.) If you are writing for your personal legacy or to leave a record of your life or specific experiences for your family, that’s okay too. But that’s not a memoir either.

People who fall into one of these categories rarely intend to publish their writings. “It’s just for me,” they say. Or “It’s something I want to leave for my family.” I applaud anyone who puts the time and effort into such an endeavor.

But a memoir—a real memoir—that you hope to publish must be more than this. If you hope to publish, I assume you hope to sell. I have been told, “I don’t care if it sells. I don’t care if anyone buys it.” That's your choice. But maybe—just maybe—if we focus the message, carefully detail your journey, and highlight your transcendence, this could be a story that helps others. In the way author Caroline Knapp used her memoir Drinking: A Love Story to describe her journey from alcoholism (and one alcohol-soaked bad choice after another) to recovery, sobriety, and taking control of her life, your memoir could potentially be a game changer for someone else.

Just Write—Good Advice?

Far be it from me to tell anyone that they should not follow the just write advice for memoir. Just write certainly makes the process feel less intimidating, less daunting to a new writer. Just write can kickstart a manuscript when the thought of knowing exactly where you’re going with the writing eludes you. But I wouldn’t be much of a writing coach if my coaching consisted of, “Just write. Don’t think, just write. Just write and see where it takes you. Here’s my bill.”

Go ahead. Just write. But know this: You must just write with the knowledge that you will definitely—100 percent—have to just rewrite extensively if you want to produce a book that people will read, enjoy, and recommend.

In addition to working as a nonfiction and creative nonfiction editor and writing coach, I am co-author, with Dr. Terri Lyon, of the book Make a Difference with Mental Health Activism: No activism degree required—use your unique skills to change the world. Visit my website page Make a Difference and Dr. Lyon’s activism website Life At The Intersection to learn more about Make a Difference with Mental Health Activism, including how to place bulk orders. Also available at Amazon.com.

Three-act Structure for Memoir Ensures the Best Read

Memoir groups on social media debate regularly about how to structure a memoir. As a memoir writing coach, I take what I assume is a conventional approach to memoir structure, one in which the stories are divided into three acts, like a play. I coach novice memoirists in this approach because I think it gives the writer the greatest chance of producing a coherent and engaging memoir.

This three-act structure is not for pantsers—those who write when and how the urge hits, who don’t follow a roadmap on their journey, but just start off and go wherever the storytelling wind takes them. No, developing and following a three-act structure for a memoir forces you, within reason, to follow an outline that moves you in a predictable way—from the introduction of your circumstance to its resolution. To do this, the writer must be a planner.

So, what is the three-act structure for memoir and is it for you?

The Classic Three-act Structure

The three-act structure is the basis of narrative fiction, creative nonfiction, and plays. It is not specific to memoir writing, it is just where I apply it in my coaching since I don’t work with fiction. My Google search for the phrase three-act structure came back with more than five billion results. Five billion. So, if you want to read more about this method, you won’t have any trouble finding information! And that’s good, because I’m not going to spend time describing it here.

My search results also came back with scores upon scores of images that illustrate this structure. They were all informative and showed the same information as this one:

Here’s another, with slight adjustments to the climax of Act Two and what’s included in Act Three:

But, as you can see, they are effectively the same structure.

I’m not going to explain which stories go into which act; as a writing coach, I will be happy to guide you through that process for your memoir. What I am going to do is explain why I believe that following this structure is the best (though not necessarily the easiest) way to produce a memoir that accomplishes everything a memoir is supposed to accomplish:

• Presents a clear theme (the author’s argument)

• Shows what is at stake for the author (the problem to be fixed in this memoir)

• Describes what challenges are encountered

• Shows how the author fails to overcome those challenges

• Identifies the disaster (biggest challenge, final straw), the point at which the author knows the situation cannot go on and must change

• Offers the resolution to the problems faced throughout the memoir

• Concludes when the author has become the person they want to be

To follow the three-act structure, you will have to really work as a writer. It is for those you dare take on the challenge of becoming an author.

The #1 Mistake in Memoir Writing

If you read my other blog articles on memoir, you will see that I can’t say enough about what the purpose of memoir is. And I can’t say it any more clearly than I did in Memoir is a Journey Story. If you haven’t read that one, stop and do so now. I’ll wait. . . .

So what is the #1 mistake that first-time memoir writers make? I’ve talked about the four most common memoir writing mistakes in this article. But since writing that, I have found that the most common mistake is not having a clear point or reason for the memoir—a clear, concise answer to the question, “Why are you writing this?” Related to that, I ask, “What lesson have you learned that you are going to share with the reader?” As I’ve said before:

No meaning, no memoir. No transcendence, no memoir. No takeaway for the reader, no memoir.

Frankly, I’ve lost potential memoir coaching clients over this. But that’s OK. Let me be clear about how deeply I want to help someone write a truly good memoir! Maybe even a great one. If I’m coaching you, we agreed that you, the writer, are serious about producing a memoir that has an interesting point, a clearly defined audience, and a strong, satisfying conclusion.

And by satisfying, I don’t mean where all problems have disappeared and everything is rainbows and butterflies. As I tell my coaching clients, your memoir will end when you reach the point where you have risen to your challenges to the best of your ability. If yours is a story of a marriage in decline, you might ultimately get divorced. You did all you could and, yet, the marriage dissolved. And you accept this reality and the change this journey has resulted in. You don’t need a happily ever after but you need to show your transformation and the lessons you learned from it.

Finally. . .

Writing is hard. Writing memoir is really hard. And yes, you can quote me on that! It’s hard mentally, physically, and, maybe most of all, emotionally. I gave my advice for working through the challenges of writing your memoir in this article about cutting yourself some slack. And I’ve suggested stepping stones for building up to tackling a memoir in this article about journaling.

If you are ready to tell your journey story, I’m ready to guide you. Please let me know how you feel about applying the three-act structure to memoir writing in the comments below.

In addition to working as a nonfiction and creative nonfiction editor and writing coach, I am co-author, with Dr. Terri Lyon, of the book Make a Difference with Mental Health Activism: No activism degree required—use your unique skills to change the world. Visit my website page Make a Difference and Dr. Lyon’s activism website Life At The Intersection to learn more about Make a Difference, including how to place bulk orders.